da mystery unfolds.. coz my 话 v. 难接.. so i guess.. eventually better dun tok..

n i start to doubt my dream job.. whether i can do it anot..


eyes of spiral.. as in eyes is his name.. weird rite? bt dat's his name.. =) i lk him! lolx.. willb lk him.. =) 加油!













pics kindly taken fr http://www.vamppire.com/snowdrop/eyes.html

i m nt far fr dat person i guess.. a disgusting truth..

tata. forcing myself to study. startin fr tmr?

2dae is saturday!

she is such a hypocrite.. isnt she?

went out 2dae... i brought my card.. my mama gt her card too.. yet i din buy anitin.. i only bot ice cream! wth m i doin? it's kinda sian to lose my shoppiness.. it's lk i look @ da ting.. v. nice.. bt i wont buy it.. wat's wrong w mi? even wen my sis offered to buy a jacket for mi.. i still dun wan it.. summore is my er jie! since wen er jie is so nice? kinda frightenin da way i m now..

oh.. n i 4gt my pin no.. -.- dat's wat i gt for nt havin money inside.. -.- bt my mama tink so so so so long den realise wat's wrong w my supposed pin no.. lolx.. mixed up w da no.. so scary.. bt luckily i rmbed...

i read a lot 2dae.. 10 comics bks.. i itnk.. or mayb 9.. li hai ba? i truly dunno wat i m doin.. too depressed mayb.. tryin to an wei myself.. bt i m been scared to death.. my desire of As cumin diminished. i wish i m still j1 worryin for promos.. promos.. sounds so ez now.. sounds so unimpt..

nth impt.. it's lk... nth seems to b impt animore.. my job.. my future.. i gt nth to hold on..

darkness is cumin..

welcome to my life.

tata.. i shld plan my omg le.. bt my head hurts.. feel lk banging my head onto da wall.. *knocks my head w a hammer*

goin to run away fr da darkness.. to da sun.. even if da sun burn mi.. to a bright future.. more imptly.. to a happy future..

ahhhhhhhh.. i hate my 2 sidedness...

it is so contridicting.. i supposedly to b so dark? as in black shld suits mi rite? bt den. i juz dun lk black. i prefer a nt black blogskin.. mayb i m 嘲笑 myself.. i dunno.. juz lk a fish strugglin to survive.. mayb dat's wat i m doin.. mayb i shld juz gif up n stop extending da pain..

n i hate myself for chargin da phone wen dere is no smses.. m i still hopin? y m i still hopin?

hope is such a strong ting.. yet i feel so foolish..

=)

i still believe in happiness.. i will b happy.. soon..

jia you everyone! i shld go jia you too! my As! omg..

*ouch* kanone died.. shld haf read da spoiler.. damn..

hello.

new blogskin.. i guess it's time to c sth new.. =)

aniwae.. i cant believe jap alr finish da spiral while i m still @ #10.. ahhhhh! can translate faster? dat's one of da reason i wish to study jap.. den i can read jap comics! dun nid wait for it to translate to chi.. =)

btw.. da comic is..

still gt summore characters lahx.. bt diz r da appearin most ones.. lolx..

lalala.. nobody owes you..

decided to blog less.. less of those unhappy stuffs.. been tinkin too -ve recently.. i nid to wake up n start anew..

goin to start my omg plan 2dae.. alr started act.. doin some maths whiole waiting for da com to load.. =)

i m steppin on a road.. i cant go back... i can only go forward.. to my destinated place.. it's lk i m on a rope.. a step taken wrongly.. i go bye bye.. a dangerous route.. bt i m takin it..

i dun wish to cry wen i take my results... i will cry.. defnitely.. bt i dun wish to cry wishing dat i shld haf work harder.. i dun wan dui bu qi ziji.. i dun wan feel sry for myself.. so i guess i haf to jia you le! everyone is studyin now.. omg omg omg.. lolx.. wateva..


da jia jia you! =)

[pics taken fr http://www.sonymusic.co.jp/Animation/spiral/]

不开心。

好想十月十三号快一点到来。

希望 A level 快一点晚。

好累。

根本不想读书。

看着我的成绩，我也高兴不起来。

不想再说话。

只想快点做完我该做的。

我能逃避吗？

死了后能保证不会面对这些吗？

不确定。

对于这个不确定的东西，我没有勇气面对。

这点勇气也没有。

你会庆幸我没有这个勇气吗？

妈妈捡到了一只小熊。叫作Daniel。

它将使我的最新宝贝。

主人失去了它，心还在疼吗？

我曾经不见过很心爱的链，那是小时候的事。

我有哭吗？

我不记得了。

只记得好难过、好难过，真的好难过。

失去的感觉我很少尝试到。

不曾拥有，怎么失去呢？

好失落。

i m back. nt coz i thot of sth new to sae.. bt juz dat i rmb sth.. lolx.. my whole head is so ful 2dae..




















aniwae.. yupx.. lk da ke lian glass.. my brain is flooded w thots n more thots n more thots..

i m nt sb so li hai.... under da shadows of my sisters.. dat's wat most younger siblings will sae.. alwaes hidden.. if u ask mi do i wish to score better dan my sis.. my reply will b of coz.. it hurts nt to b recognized.. it hurts nt to b dat clever.. n sumore i haf no talents.. both my sis dcan play vball.. wat can i do? i cant even catch a damn ball.. i haf no pitch.. i cant sing.. honest speakin.. da desire of makin my mama feels proud of mi is da one which pushed mi to sutdy.. i wan score gd grades.. for myself.. if i score gd grades.. my sis sae it's nth.. it hurts.. alot.. da high expectations.. i hope i can reach.. i seriously do.. i pick a different path.. i will continue it.. no matter wat.. tho it hurts dat u din reach da expectations.. it hurts even more wen deir expectations drop till ridiculously standards.. v. painful.. i dunno.. i wil jia you.. @ least 3As.. n @ leat a B3 for gp.. m i insane? mayb i m.. mayb i havent been sane since dunno wen..

oh yarhx.. below is my shoppin list!
shopping list. =)
1. comics!
2. necklace
3. mp3 pouch
4. headphone or earphone
5. wallet [saw one.. v. v. nice.. 100+.. -.-]
6. hp
7. watch [swatch?]
8. specs
9. one pair of black flats.
10. one pair of white/silver heels.
11. birkenstocks
12. clothes.
13. digi cam [w my sis]

below r da results.. if u wish nt to c it.. den skip da whole pale yellow color part..

General Paper:
Paper 1: 20/50
Paper 2: 1.5/50
Overall: 41.5 D7

Economics:
Paper 1: 17/30
Paper 2: DRQ: 9/20 CS: 13/30
Paper 3: 30/75
Overall: 44.8% bt will round up to 45.. so E

Mathematics:
Paper 1: 82.5/100
Paper 2: 85/100
Overall: 83.8% A

Biology:
Paper 1: 38/40
Paper 2: 49/100
Paper 3: 42/65
Overall: 65.4% B

Chemistry:
Paper 1: 36/40
Paper 2: 50/60
Paper 3: 67/100
Overall: 76.5% A

so my overall is AABED7.. i failed my gp.. dere's go my h/r.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! wth.. lolx.. i was super disappointed.. esp wen u r da one distributin da papers.. i was lk i score prac da lowest for both lahx! damn... so so so so so so sad.. den i thot maths will cheer mi up.. ended up it's econs! another ahhhhhhh! so sad. only passed my mcqs.. n by 2 marks? -.- damn... den i took back maths.. made mi happy! nt so well done.. bt reasonably well done.. =) an A.. bt i tui bu..bt nvm.. it's still an A.. =) den took back bio.. i was elated! my paper 1 n paper 3 pulled mi up.. bt i nid to work hard on my paper 2 or else i will nv get an A... essays! omg... -.- so AABE.. i was wonderin y i take econs for? i shld haf take cla or phy rite? y econs?! i wasnt an arts student.. bt my geo is gd.. lolx.. -.- omg.. save mi.. lolx... nt da time to tink y i study econs.. bt i cant help bt 2 tink wat's da pt of takin it?

----------------------------------------

i was early 2dae.. bt i missed 136.. bt luckily dere was 133A.. so i took dat.. i haf da mood.. so i was lookin out of da window.. lookin @ da scenery.. da cars n da pple.. my bus pass by bishan park.. i was tinkin.. it will b so nice to walk da park w someone.. i thot of sb n sb.. bt it is nv dat sb.. ife may b different if it has been dat sb.. bt mayb worse.. coz i aint nice.. bt den.. i guess.. tings juz dun go da way we wan it to b.. dat's life.. bt den.. i hate life den..

i wasnt sb hu can console.. if u grade my consoling skills.. fr 1 [da lowest] to 10[da highest].. my consoling skills is 1.. i m nt proud of it.. i dun lk it.. i wasnt sb hu can tok freely.. nt sb hu can say v. gd words.. so yups.. i cant console.. no matter how muc hi wanted to.. wat i sae sux...

did i wan to cry wen i took back my gp? i tink so.. bt den.. nax.. i wont cry.. i m plain upset.. prelims no matter wat r prelims..

i dun lk u to b on off on off on off.. i wasnt a bulb.. i dun lk uncertainties..

it is ez to face da results.. bt it is so hard to face ur frenz.. wen we r collectin our results.. bcoz everone's results differ so much!

i haven arrange a timin to meet msd.. it's nt dat i dun wan.. i dun mind.. bt den.. i dun c da pt.. i noe those hu dun consults r losers.. bt den.. i dunno wat to consult for.. if only i din fail my gp..

listened to 说谎 for @ least 10 times 2dae.. lolx...

无奈。我很无奈。

n to all.. u r nt stupid.. i repeat again.. u r nt stupid.. i believe we can score As in As... dat's y it is call A level.. we will score As! we juz haf work hard.. jia you!

i wish i can b nt wishin to turn away..

n i luv mr bean!

pic taken fr www.mrbean.com.sg of coz.. =)

mr bean now looks so cute! =) i miss mr bean! so glad it is back in amk! finally i get to drink soya bean in da nite.. =) had ice cream too~~ so soya.. lolx..

i wan to go out on friday! anibody? bfore i start my omg revision.. lolx.. da name of my revision shld b omg den.. =) haven really plan it.. so will plan finsih by 2dae.. i hope.. it is so hard to decide.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! lolx.. =)

feel lk vomit 2dae.. wen i try to push da remainin bread into my mouth.. had da feeling of wantin to vomit.. it makes mi tears..

i tink i m a bit too compettitive.. bt den.. i dunno..

i feel hurt.. or it is sad? i dunno.. feel so low.. i tinkin.. nth seems impt animore.. damn.

sth fr i weekly is so true..
天平座的人有时会过分追求高雅的生活，过于注重琐事，对大事反而不太关心。他们喜欢得到别人的赞扬，只有处于他们感到欣然的环境中，才能无忧无虑地生活。
心血来潮的时候，他们会到商场中去消磨自己的时间，为自己或是知心朋友选购别致的礼物，他们不会觉得这是浪费时间。他们很害怕处于缺乏温暖的环境中，若是一旦病倒又没有人关怀的话，他们会觉得自己非常得不行。他们渴望生活在充满艺术和美好幻想的意境之中，而回避生活中的各种矛盾、困难和烦恼。
v. v. true.. llolx.. bt i nt dat 渴望 to live in such places.. bt den.. 七七八八对啦！

okiex.. enough w such a long entry.. tata.. =) may cum back n blog again! lolx.. =)

guess wat i watched 2dae?


JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE! [does he really haf to die?]

aniwae.. da movie is gd.. lolx.. so even if most reviews sae it is v. 肤浅... so i m 肤浅.. lolx.. bt it's gd! =) v. funny.. lolx..

---------------------------------------------

已经习惯了做好人。做到已经不知道自己到底是真地想好还是习惯了？偶尔想坏一下。好累啊！人人都习惯了。我呢？我还没习惯。不想要这么乖乖地做一切，不想要跟着你们所期待的。想要改一改。不知道。做好人做到累了。虽然对你而言我可能不是个好人，可是我觉得我够好了。我从来都不是个好人。以后更不可能是好人。不会，也不想。只想做我。我，也好难做。好多人、好多事，每一件发生都会改变我。我没有定义。我是缥缈的。好神奇。连自己也不知道自己以后会变成什么样子。我只知道，我还是会很努力地让自己快乐。我希望。我不会自暴自弃。未来的日子，好难定。你呢？为了有什么希望吗？只想快快乐乐地活着吧？

对不起喔，感觉上好悲伤。读了漫画就是有这个功效。让我想了好多好多。

他们也不错，能有理由的坏，能有理由地说着无奈，能有理由地自暴自弃。好幸福。他们对抗命运。

那我们呢？我们是否正跟着命运而走呢？你想不想摆脱命运？我的命运是什么？你会想知道吗？还是有个惊喜比较好？命运掌握在自己的手中。你相信吗？我觉得命运自由安排。可是，我不会在我潦倒、无奈的时候说这是我的命运。我不服气。不明白命运为什么要这么对待我。我会反抗。可是，如果我过得很好，我不会有怨言。命运对我很好。信与不信必须看自己的生活状况。人是聪明的。我们会让自己好过一点。=)

如果现在的你正在烦恼，我只想说，日子会变得好一点。只要付出、努力，一定会有结果。过后，会庆幸自己曾用功过。相信我，现在正是努力的时候，作最后的冲刺。加油！

对了对了！说水果篮篇。

雪融了会变成什么？
会变成春天！

意思就是说，不过现在你多么的迷茫，多么的无奈，多么的想放弃，多么的伤心，总有一天你会不再那么的失落，一定要坚信，知道吗？有一天你会开开心心地度过。只要相信，必有成果。

加油！

gd aftnn! =)

i dun care if pple tink i m "showing off" my results or wat.. bt i m puttin all my results here.. so if u dun lk it.. den dun look @ it.. =P lalala.. gt back chem 2dae.. one word to describe.. heng.. =) managed to get an A.. bt paper 3 is rather disappointin.. glad my paper 1 n 2 pull my marks up!

chemistry
paper 1: 36/40
paper 2: 50/60
paper 3: 67/100
overall: 76.5%
grade: A

=) makin a complete list aft i gt all my results back.. ahhhhhhhhhhh! paper 3 is so disappointin rite? bt kinda expected it coz i din haf time to finish it.. bt i m so happy my NMR qn gt full marks! luckily i quickly drew Q.. bt i din finish xplainin it.. bt iguess my top part rescue mi.. enough pts le.. =) 2 qns gt 4, 2 gt 5.. wat m i doin? omg.. cant believe it.. will look @ it ltr.. ahhhhhhhhhhh...

bt overall.. i m happy! v. v. happy!

oh.. i bot 2 comics! spiral #10 n #11!!! yeah! aft so long.. i shld go bury myself other da 2 bks.. soon.. =P i nid buy my necklace! finally gettin back my 925 silver! =) perlinis! diz time i guess... i broke bits n pieces' s so c if i can break perlinis de..

movies i wan to watch!
death note.. fr jap comics!

the prestige! magicians!

john tucker must die.. chick flicks!

the departed! wu jian dao ang moh version! leonardo!

omg! dere's a movie called charlotte's web! so sweet~

n fantasy movie lk Eragon.. bt cumin out in Dec..

=) go read my comics le! tata!

oh yarhx.. thanks mingmin, lian, boon, jia, kisa, jess for da present! bt da bag too small.. cannt bring to sch.. lolx.. n thanks for da bk! so cute! so touched! =) luv u all lots! heex.. jia you for As n hj jia you for promos!

wish u haf a gd day!

2006年9月25日 0000时 夜

我失去了朋友。或许你觉得我们还是朋友，可是对我而言，朋友已不在。

为何总是失去的比得到的还多？

我不是没想过关系再好一点。可是我不想依赖成习，也害怕忌妒心很强的我会做出什么疯狂的事。你也会像讨厌他一样地讨厌我吗？我不想。害怕、恐慌，我才会选择今天的下场。或许天真得我还是奢望些什么吧。

想多了解你，你知道吗？想要不被忘记，你晓得吗？我不祈求什么，只希望和你做好朋友。

不是想开了，而是假装坚强。
不是开心了，而是学会掩饰。
不是大方了，而是顾及面子。
不是无所谓，而是不想受伤。

这些你都知道吗？看着你离开，我好伤心。可是，你曾来过吗？还是我幻想了？

我失去的朋友可真多。多到不知道这篇到底是为了谁。好多人的样子浮现在脑海里。你、你、你、你，还有你。你过得好吗？偶尔会不会想起我？

万物都在变，对你的感觉也跟着变。越来越想你，越来越爱你。

对你而言，这样的距离对你或许不是很亲近。可是，这却是我的最大限度。大家的尺度不一样，你懂吗？

那个1011事件过后，心就没感觉了。心还在吗？我不知道。很久没有心痛，也没有心动的感觉。

失去朋友会很难过吧。想了解你。可是你却不让我进一步，我也不敢踩那一步。害怕被拒绝，不能没有面子。难道你不想挽回吗？不明白你，让我越来越气。

朋友，我不是不在乎，而是不懂得表达。杰伦的开不了口很适合我。说不出的感激、说不出的感动、说不出的快乐、说不出的关心、说不出的着急，我都只能放在心里。希望你能谅解我。

11岁，我停止成长了。一夜间我变了。我尝试改了，可是或许我打从心底是不想变的。不知道。以后再想吧。大考将至，我不想再想其他的。考试为先。

渐渐地爱上飞轮海。亚伦，大东，吴尊和亦儒。

--------------------------------------------------------

=) 2dae is last day of hols! lolx.. tmr supposed to b hols too.. bt den.. nid to go bakc n collect my chem paper 2!!! ahhhhh.. act i m more scared for my paper 3.. lolx.. still cant believe i din manage to finish it.. -.-

aniwae.. life is gd.. so cherish it.. lolx.. act i duno wat i m tokin... i luv typin.. type type type.. i guess diz cum fr da typing lesson i had during my primary sch time.. pretty amazing dat i dun nid to look @ da keypad or izzit call keyboard rite? =P i m v. obedient durin da lessons.. so i din look @ de keypad.. so now i can! i luv it! lolx.. my da jie still uses 2 index fingers only.. lolx.. prayin mantis style..

my mood is ezly affected.. da one i typed on top is coz i read 大东 n 亚伦's blog.. u can find it under favorites.. =)

happy 19th belated birthday to en chen! tho i doubt she read it.. bt den.. aniwae.. may ur bdae wishes cum true! miss u!!

好了，不多说了。我要出门了！开心！=)

cya!

hello!

my bday is over! =) n i m super happy! nt abt it's over.. bt happy on my bdae.. v. v. happy!!! =) esp da last hr of my bday! super happy!

thanks to many.. 10 of u hu gave mi da only present on time.. lolx.. n my mama of coz.. 30+ smses wishes.. 6 wishes fr virtual world.. mel called.. bt tink she call to complain.. lolx.. partner on msn.. cy hu i met ytd.. thank u! a wish made mi so so so so happy.. it means dat u bother to rmb n bother to send mi one.. u thot mi.. lolx.. =)

aniwae.. went out w xy ytd.. i haf no money to shop.. she doesnt shop.. so ended up we gt nowhere to go.. -.- so ended up i had thai express! w her cy n corrine.. lolx.. sounds weird rite? summore on bday.. bt it's ok.. =)

uploaded all da neoprints! oh.. n scan it too.. bt since i dun haf all da pics.. so dat's all i gt..

all these r fr aft prelims.. =)


i realise all diz neoprints din haf da effects lk da ones below..


wat's mel n qi doin? lolx.. da pole..


ke lian de bei bei..


looks ugly in diz pic...

np fr thurs..


i luv diz pic! coz i look pretty.. lolx.. da neoprint machine v. li hai.. bt.. y r we in bball court? for chin i guess.. =P


n i realise.. y elmo is @ da back for all 3 pics..


look wat i wear! looks gd.. lolx.. bt y dere is a star dere?

oh.. 张信哲's 说谎 v. nice!
这次我又担心到天亮
现在你靠在谁身旁
窗外透进来的光照得心发慌
熬过了失眠的晚上
每次你的理由都一样
其实我都懂
只是不讲
把自己弄的很忙
其实是假装看你这次要怎么收场
我说我会是你可以依靠的肩膀
而你却站在离我最远的地方
我爱你的心一样
总是选择原谅
你有多少借口除了说谎
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
我们就到此为止不必再勉强
现在开始不一样
像路人经过身旁
你也不必装模做样
我会遗忘
别再说谎

ermx.. tmr goin out.. tues goin back sch.. -.- only managed to rest on sun.. n my stomach is seriously feeling v. bad now.. damn.. for few days alr.. ahhhh.. my ke lian de stomach.. wat's wrong w it?

oh.. n now use com v. fast.. coz most r watchin singapore idol.. =) n hady's 2nd song v. nice!

tings to buy if i haf money:
1. wallet
2. watch
3. one pair of heels
4. one pair of flats
5. clothes
6. digi cam
7. hp
8. goong vcds
9. prom nite dress

ahhh.. my sis now refused to provide mi da dress.. -.- c how first.. hope she is rich by den.. =P

i shld start plannin how to spend money.. lolx.. how to save first.. den can spend.. lolx.. okiex.. gtg first.. tata. =)

hope u haf a gd wk ahead! no monday blues!

18th year reflections. =)

a disastrous yr.. definitely.. lolx.. major exams.. prelims.. block test.. mid yr.. -.- so mani! lolx...
din rmb much details.. guess no really v. sad tings.. bt really nt a gd yr.. xpecially wen 2006 starts.. horrible! v. moody.. tings haf changed. still v. peaceful..

n da forgetful mi really dun rmb anitin..

so nvm.. i shld move on..

happy 18th birthday to myself!
happy 18th birthday to kor!
happy 18th birthday to mei!

lalala.. birthday wishes...
1. everyone esp mi score well in As!
2. everyone esp my family pin pin an an!
3. ______________________________ haven thot of it bt last one for mi.. hahax.. =P

thanks for everytin! =) seriously. sincerely. thanks.

resolutions:
i wan to b happier.. healthier.. =)

love,sushi.ling.

bfore i start doin my reflections.. i shld tok abt sth else first..

飞轮海 is v. cute! lolx.. watched 2 ep of 娱乐百分百 abt dem.. so cute!! lolx..

da first one i noticed was 亚伦 tho eunice dun seems to lk him.. bt aniwae.. den aft dat find 大东 v. cute.. lolx.. as in nt relaly.. v. man.. lolx... really gt a bit of 小猪 feel.. aniwae.. dun find 吴尊 shuai or wat tho bea bea n qi qi tink he's da most shuai.. den aft i watched it ytd.. he v. cute! lolx.. 没有啦~ so 可爱! lolx.. =D

so so.. went to suntec w mad 2dae.. waer flip flops! lolx.. my soles hurt lahx.. so flip flops r da best!! =P lalala. den walk walk walk.. den go marina sq to haf my venezia!! =) my fav venezia! heex.. hmmm.. da spellin seems weird to mi.. nvm.. den went to tpy to meet eunice~~ both of dem so skinny lorx.. bt eunice tnks i bcum thinner? lolx.. bt dey 2 can b bamboo poles 2gether lahx.. -.- so skinny for wat.. lolx.. i dun get fatter happy lorx.. haha`

den rushed hm to watch ghost whisperer! 4gt all abt it.. rmb it only wen i was on da bus! missed 5+ min of it.. nvm.. still can understand! =)

oh oh.. my second present! guess fr hu? my mama!! i really gt 肉干!!! heex.. i rather i haf da money to buy clothes.. bt den.. nvm~ lolx.. i saw v. nice clothes in tpy.. lolx.. den giodarno too.. hmmm.. nvm.. i luv my mama! lolx.. my sis sae she 疼 mi most.. heex.. i dun mind.. lolx..

okiex. go relfect le.. tata. =)

i m a freak. i m so damn moody.

aniwae.. sth dat made my day~~ i gt 36 for chem paper 1!!! i dun care it is juz paper 1.. i gt 36!!! yeahhhh~ =) heex..

okiex okiex.. time to let mi acct my day.. so eventful..

had breakfast w my mama.. @ where? kbcc dou hua dian!! lolx.. took bus w my mama.. my mama 2nd time takin da bus? =P den go walk walk.. ended up walkin in shop n save.. wen dere is one juz opp my hse.. =P den since we saw da amk west garden. i sae let's walk hm.. so wlak walk walk.. i nearly died lahx.. whie my mama haen slp is healthier dan mi.. -.-

den aft dat was in da bedrm reading my story bk!! two of us!! v. nice.. =) bt kana forced out of da rm.. y? a stupid mosquito bited mi 11times.. -.- super mos.. stupid mos.. super stupid mos.. lolx.. aniwae.. so ended up use a qhile of com den i go meet kel n san.. go shoppin!! bot ting for my mei.. den walk to far east.. fr taka.. den walk to heeren! den to cine where we had our dinner..

okiex.. in b/w.. da rest meet us xcept qiqi n elmo..

da diner is nt gd.. hahax.. seriously.. let's dun go dere ever again.. okiex.. let's go dere for desert.. bt nt for meals.. no way.. hahax..

den had cake @ taka fountain~~ i luv da cake! i luv da hazelnut taste! i luv hazelnut! lolx..

aniwae.. a list of thanks to b made..

1. thanks mel.. elmo.. shar.. kel.. [hu else went?] hu walk for god noes how long in town shoppin for my presnt..
2. thanks mel.. elmo.. shar.. kel.. chin.. qi.. bei.. bea... san.. val for cumin 2dae.. havin dinner 2gether tho holy nids to leave early.. bt it's okiex.. thanks for cumin!
3. specially thanks to holy for cumin even hto she slpt for 2hrs!
4. thanks to those hu walk slow slow w mi..
5. thanks for da presnts n da cake!
6. thanks for being w mi thruout my 18th yr... tho my 18th yr haven relaly ended...
7. thanks for being u...

okiex.. now for da presnt..

i gt a water bottle! [again? lolx.. dat's wat my sis sae..]
+
hmv voucher! =)

water bottle is one of da tings i wan to get.. so i guess u all hit da jackpot! lolx.. bt no green! lolx.. nvm.. blue was once my fav color.. nt pink can le.. hahax.. or yellow.. or purple..

hmv voucher! my gai ban energy disc.. i dun nid to worry for da money~~ heex.. thx! mayb even enough to buy my sis jeff chang disc too.. =) y m i dat gd to my sis? hmmm..

lalala. bt i cant bring da waterbottle tmr.. it stinks! of plastic..

btw.. i wasnt born w/o expressions.. super hyper kid changes to a ssuper quiet girl.. nt my fault okiuex.. act is my fault.. aniwae.. tings happened.. n i changed.. i wont change back to hu i once wen i was ermx.. younger dan 12.. juz accept diz expressionless person bahx.. all thx to a stupid mistake i made.. or da selfish mi had made.. wateva.. ting happened.. baaaaaaaaaaa.

my sis hit da jackpot too.. i m jealous. damn. i m still stuck @ da same age.. 10 i tink.. dun exactly rmb da date.. bt den.. shld b 10.. childish mi. still jealous. damn dman damn.

i nid to shift my focus. study!

i m so glad da sch is ending..

oh.. hope u r happy.. =) i m happy for u..

gtg.. tata. =)

haf a gd day ahead..

i haf bio tmr! argh..

wat do u love most being a woman? i read dat in seventeen..
hmmm.. seriously.. i alwaes tink being a guy is better.. coz deir attire is easier.. dey can go lie ard aniwhere dey wan.. girls cant.. kana sae by a tcher bfore i tink.. hmmm..
bt being a girl haf her benefits too!! lolx.. so hmmm.. mayb wat i love most being a woman is bcoz i can wear skirts! lolx.. dun nid go NS too.. =P n ermx.. get to wear heels!!! lalala.

aniwae.. 4gt to mention earlier dat i saw a shuai ge in town ytd! lolx.. i find him v. shuai lahx.. =P mayb coz da way he dress up himself too.. bt actually.. he was juz wearing his workin clothes.. shirt n pants n a briefcase.. bt still v. shuai! lolx.. i guess da overall feel is gd can le.. dun relaly look v. shuai.. da way u wear really matters..

*go toilet*

lalala. bei bei stil lhaven decide to go out or nt.. lalala.

i wan watch john tucker muz die! n departed~~ n the prestige?

ytd yu le bai fen bai gt energy! vs dan fei bi jia hong...

was tinkin wat sld i b few yrs ltr.. meaning wat shld i gt study aft my As.. hmmmm.. 2 equally attractive choices.. occupational therapist or hotel management? ahhhhhh~ i cant decide.. 2 seems to b so different.. bt both serves pple.. juz da kind of pple u serves differs..

prom nite! saw da tube dress again!! lolx.. still considering.. hmmm.. will pple wear da same dress as mi? hahax.. i tink wont b so suay lahx.. bt will i look nice wearin it.. i seriously nid to try it someday.. or i shld go look for other dresses.. short dresses..


diz phone really really looks v. v. nice~~~~ lolx..

okiex.. go do sth else le.. tata.. =)

it seems to mi dat it bcums a grp of ke lian pple encourage each other... bt often we only heard one side of da story n kip sayin it isnt deir fault... r we draggin each other down? r we making each other worse off tho we feel better bcoz we seems to b correct.. seems to b normal... hmmmm.. 物以类聚... i m one of da ke lian pathetic pple i guess... nahx.. i m..

i juz hate it to c it diz way.. i dun lk it... no.. i dun juz dun lk it.. i hate it.. can pple juz stop ...? 我不喜欢。我真的不喜欢。

快乐就是那么地脆弱。比心还脆弱。

prelims r over!!!! =D bt i m nt dat happy.. 2dae paper is hahahahaha.. nicest of all.. lolx... spent 20min to do da paper.. check 55min.. -.- hahax.. i 吓死 mel i guess.. =P i dun care.. wahhahahaha` muz 吓 others.. =P

i wna to play for one whole wk!!! mayb ogin out w bei tmr.. den goin out w cliq on thurs.. hmmm.. r we juz meetin for dinner? can we dun meet juz for dinner? i dun wan juz go out for dinner.. hmmm.. haven decide where to go.. outback? seems so ex leix.. hmmm.. duno lahx.. juz hope everyone is dere.. dat's all i wan..

it hurts. ouch ouch ouch.

i wan wear heels!!! =)

my tv starts. tata.

tmr. last paper to go. =) finally.
so tired.
v. v. tired.
2dae is oh my god day.
i wonder if i kip my maths A.
damn.
rare few times i worried for my maths so much.
n i gave up 1 qn.
i hate havin maths paper in da aftnn.
n i tink my bio paper 3 is better dan my maths paper 2!
omg.
even tho my spelling went haywired.
damn.

oh btw.
congrats to those hu finished deir prelims le! =)

one day difference only.
go town tmr!!!
town town town.
wen can i eat my thai express?

nid to go back sch on fri.
-.-

i really nid to stop my brain fr tinkin other tings.
wen i m havin my exams.
focus.
sometimes i juz wan whack my head.

i really lost it.
m i cryin?
will i b cryin?
i dunno.
i juz suddenly felt so empty.

oh yarhx.
wen i was doin my maths. dat stupid maclaurin qn.
my throat or windpipe wateva it is feel so irritated.
cldnt cough it out.
feelin so terrible.
feel lk vomiting.
feel lk cryin.
x.x

i m bored.

as in nt dat i haf nth to do.. i can do maths.. do mcqs.. study bio options.. bt i juz wan a break fr it..

so here i m sian-ing.. lolx..

so ended up lookin @ da new ipod nano.. motorola new phone motokrzr.. lookin @ samsung ultra slim series etc.. nice to look @ nice tings.. hahax.. wont change mp3 till i duno.. wont change my phone till end of diz yr or da begining of da yr.. bt den.. it's nice to look look!

my body condition is decliing.. i startin to haf no appetide.. wateva da spellin is.. i m hungry.. bt ijuz dun wan eat.. ended up makin my whole body v. uncomfortable.. feel v. drained v. often.. as in lk i gt no glucose? no idea.. or izit anaemia? hmmm.. no idea.. i nid some tonic soon.. my cough persists as i stubbornly refused to take cough syrup.. i noe le! i feel v. light.. hahax..

my sis workin temp job nxt wk.. wen i havin a break!! damn.. still tinkin can go out w my sis coz v. long nv go out 2gether le.. can go town watch movie n shoppin.. bt she workin! ahh.. so my er jie sae go out durin her break lorx.. da temp job will bover.. mmm.. one wk diff only.. bt ahhh! stupid temp job.. bt go temp job gt money! hahax.. nt mine tho.. bt @ least sb gt money! lolx..

cant wait for my As to end.. gt so mani tings to do! bt i wan work!! serious.ly work work work.. n earn money so i can spend!!! hahax.. i m nt dat kind of person hu saves.. bt i will try to.. =P wan buy tings for myself! buy tings for my sis! =) i really feelk lk buyin one birkenstock! bling bling better.. =) den one for sis one for another sis if dey haven get deirs.. i m juz so willing to spend.. hahax... a digi cam too! a new hp! mani clothes bags shoes heels!

jia you! =)

it's gd to c ah di again. on tv i mean. haven get o c him in person. aft so long. take care.

3 more.

3 more papers to go.

47days to As! lolx..

juz copied down da timetable for post prelims... ahhhhh. so mani days gt 2 "lectures".. sian... bt still v. early lahx.. heex.. muz start plannin revisoin liaox.. =)

2dae papers r "...".. lazy to tok abt it..

haf to spend nxt 2days pia-ing for maths n bio.. bio options! omg.. -.-

i kicked my mama juz now.. wen i m slping... coz i sae i v. tired.. so i go mama's rm to lay to da bed.. ended up relaly fall aslp.. hahax.. juz plannin to rest a while only.. so woke up wen i kicked my mama.. =P

i wan a lil change.

i expect a lil more.

i tink i deserve a lil more.

i tink i shld do a lil more.

how much is a lil? damn.

i hope i wish. bt i do nt expect. coz only disappointment cums aft dat. i learnt dat.

i gettin pissed. if u r tinkin it's u den it's nt u.. hahax.. i believe da person doesnt noe.. i juz dun c da pt.. i hate to b affected by others...

ghost wisperer startin.. bye bye. tata. =)

hello.

hahax.. i haf permission to slack itll 6pm.. =P

well well...
econs paper 1: ermx.. anihow choose.. gt tink lahx.. bt near da end my brain is so dead lahx.. i hate aftnn paper!
econs paper2: worse dan paper 1.. -.- trade? dot dot dot..
chem paper 1: hmmm.. i dunno wat to sae.. din wan to noe gt correct or nt.. juz dun wan to noe anitin abt it.. dun wan to c.. baaaaaaaaaaaaa. so scared. reufused to do anitin w it..

ohoh.. had a coffee cake for bei bei juz now.. =) thx mel for buyin da cake~

i dun wan to.

n an idiot juz run n stop in front of mi to c how i look lk? tink so.. dat idiot. muz fu yan yi xia mahx..

new 7up v. nice.. w lime.. =)

dot dot dot.

911 5th anniversary.

5 yrs since da terrorist attack dat shook us awake. r we really awaken?

in diz 5 yrs.. dere r SARS, bali bombing, london bombing, Avian flu, dengue fever, etc.

is it bcoz u r older dat why u notice so mani tings?

or it wasnt lk diz wen i was P5?

is da world changing?

how much haf we changed?

how much haf i changed?

how much haf u changed?

hmmmm.

baaaaaaaaaaaaa. i noe i sae i wont b here. bt i m. coz i rather use com dan stone. coz i refused to study. haha. so dead. -.-

so shoo! if u r reading it. go study!! if ur prelims r over or u dun haf ani xams, shoo too! coz i m so ke lian tryin to focus. if u r reading it aft my prelims. den happy reading. i hope it is still on da blog wen dat day cums. which is 1wk aft. -.-

oh.

happy birthday to my da jie!
happy birthday to junkai! [does his name spell diz way? wateva. i juz noe it's his bdae. lolx. ]
happy birthday to bei jia! coz i dun tink i will b online tmr. =P

lalala.

i saw a post stick in front of mi. it has date time place n a person's name. i guess it's a interview for my sis. =) bt i thot my sis went alr? coz it's SGH.. hmmmm.. will ask her ltr...

she went out w dia i tink.. go watch da devil wears prada.. shld cum out one call da devil eats prata! -.-

fine fine. let mi blog abt prelims den i go study le.

bio paper 2: first paper. so dead. nv do finish! dat means i still gt summore to write! lolx.. din touch a 6marks part... nvm lahx... add everytin for Q4 dun even match my Q1a.. -.- how nice horx..

maths paper 1: stupid rain. makes mi wan go toilet. first time ever i leave da exam hall. juz cannt take it le. -.- n so tired. i juz wan to get over w it. din check finish. refused to check. it's prelim! bt i m juz too dead.

chem paper 3: lolx. my worst paper 3 ever. din haf time to finish it. u believe it? damn. so qi lahx. act nt. hahax. did slowly. coz din noe it is dat short wat! lolx. so ended up no time. zi zhao de. wateva.

lalala. muz jia you!!!

da jia jia you!

gd luck!

=)

hey.

tmr prelims.

sian.

haven study finish.

wateva.

goin to die for bio aniwae.

essay?

oh yarhx.

supposed to revise.

damn.

gtg.

tata.

gd luck to everyone!

jia you!

cya nxt nxt wk aft prelims. =)

tata.

a pic of ahdi! =) v. shuai. lalala.

taken fr http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/hsiao-1982

is 聊斋 nice? i wan to watch. =)

mel asked 爱是什么？

现在的我的想法是：

他开心，你欣慰。
他安全，你安心。
在他身边很安心。
只想跟他在一起。

这样吧。
不知道。
好奇怪。

weather.

wen da weather turns cold, my ankles hurt.
wen my sister is goin to leave da hse, it will rain.
wen my mama wan to dry laundry, da sky will turn dark n brite dark n brite n irritates my mama till she gave up.

my er jie n my dad? hmmm.. no distinct features.. lolx..

slacked da whole mornin + aftnn.. -.-

goodbye to athrun, shin, kira, rey, luna, meyrin, lacus, mu, gilbert, gladys, etc. 2dae is da last episode of Gundam Seed Destiny. =( it ended quite well.. so gil, rey n gladys died 2gether.. peace.

follow ur destiny or choose ur destiny? wat is ur destiny?

my sister is seriously considering whether clinical trials is wat she wan to do... hmmm.. soon i nid to tink seriously whether hotel management is wat i wanted to do... of coz i wan to do! bt is dere enough passion to last mi? enough interest to pull me thru? dere r certain tings i wan to do too.. which one will b da one?

阿弟的爱失控让我心痛。

我的爱没失控过。以后会吗？不知道。偶尔失控一下也不错。

jia you! tmr prelims le! lalala. so dead. x.x

wateva. lolx. still gt As. =)

爱要怎么说？应该是爱要怎么解释？

找到了阿弟的部落格！开心到要死。

喜欢阿弟。

为何呢？如果要硬硬说的话。

他的歌声。
他对感情的坦白。
他爱哭。
他高。
他壮。

他们当中，老实说，不是最帅的。

坤达比他帅。一定的。

那一向“以貌取人”的我为何又喜欢他了呢？

姐姐觉得我是喜欢那些帅的。会吗？不知道。太久没喜欢了。

喜欢和爱，两个一样抓不透，让人觉得很刺激，当然，也很困挠。

喜欢就是喜欢。不喜欢给理由。不喜欢什么都说得明明白白的。

这就是我。

有一只甲虫在我家里。我把它送出去了，它却无缘无故飞了回来。有多气？明明想让你回去原来的世界可是你却不肯。在这里只有死路一条。

或许家里的灯比街灯亮多了。它被吸引而回来。一只碰撞玻璃。好刺耳、好痛。

人或许也是吧。常常不知量力。死死都要等到自己觉得最好的，就算到头来，累了可是进去了，却发现自己回不了头也愿意。到后来，生命也没了。

难道我们就那么的迷茫吗？好的未必是最耀眼的。我们真的有那么无知吗？很苯吧？

就好像面对爱情一样，我们都瞎了、疯了。

已经听不到它在飞行了。累了？放弃了？逃脱了？死了？

不知道。

只要它觉得这是值得的就好了。

不想多说话。

我以后会忘了怎么跟人沟通吗？

真希望能性灵相同。

我词穷。

不会表达自己。

对阿弟的是爱还是喜欢？

随便。

可是这份感情将会永远、永远在心里。

Energy 加油！

大家加油！

我加油！

只要肯努力，就会成功！也会看到奇迹！

hello? =)

gettin kinda crappy.. din do anitin 2dae..

xcept for

1. eatin breakfsat w my parents.. sheng mian stall din open! so qi..
2. read the boy on the bus by Deborah Schupack.. one of da bks which i m supposed to return for my er jie coz dey r due ytd..
3. took a aftnn nap of 2hrs making mi uncomfortable again.
4. watch yu le bai fen bai.. so funny!! lolx... fei lun hai really v. tall..
5. online now n juz now in da mornin.
6. coughin randomly.

-.- i din wan to study... gt da super big file on my bed.. zzz.. haha` decided to rest 2dae... i guess.. mayb will do some mcqs ltr.. cant settle on wat to study.. will tink abt it ltr.. .=P

55 days 13hrs 19min to As.. less dan 2 mnths! n i far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far fr nervous. far fr being panic.. mayb subconcious yes.. dat's y i m fallin sick.. or i m faling sick for plain stupid reasons... -.- i wan exercise.. if only my coughin stops.. i will go run run run.. =P

lalala. haze fr Indonesia cums.. *coughs* act no link.. haha`... i cough bcoz i m sick.. -.- okiex.. i gt no reason y i cough.. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

nth else to blog.. lalala. go find some stuffs to do den.. tata.

=) jia you to those hu r pia-ing.. those tired le den rest bahx.. those lk mi dun feel lk studyin den dun study lorx.. dat's wat my mama sae.. bt horx.. she used to complain wen i sae i gt no mood to study.. dun feel lk n no mood.. same wat! -.-

nvm. dun being nagged @ can le. =)

memory is gettin worse.





feelings r depletin.





emotions r erodin.





gettin more straightforward.





life sux.

爱失控
时间一分一秒被偷走
所谓的永久
被曾经取代后变成恶魔
手里握着多余的温柔
独自反复思索
收藏保留随风飞走说来轻松

自由是否会比较好过
原来没有
成全的背后总有痛苦在招手
记忆停留在最初时候
星光已不再闪烁
无话可说继续走还是朋友

让你走我的爱失控
藏在幸福快乐的背后
是我逃避退缩
放开手对爱不再有奢求
是非对错不想再多说
眼神交会时候出卖承诺泪在留

想通躲在黑暗的出口
难以捉摸
是缘份的作用导致失控
还是孤独一时的冲动
抹去爱情轮廓
故事内容谁补充安静的尘封

世界的旋律因你而转动
就算再失控落空
音符交织感动
就够

让你走我不再是我
感受不到心跳的触碰
占有转眼成空
放开手对爱不再有奢求
徘徊梦中模糊
脸孔遗留在角落不再轻易地经过

a song by Energy.. super super super super nice!! highly recommended.. =)

aniwae.. went to lib 2dae.. oh.. bfore went to kbcc dere meet mad.. den met xh.. meet mad.. eat breakfast.. buy breakfsat hm.. off i went to lib.. cough cough cough.. goin to die liaox lahx.. coughin out blood soon.. hahax.. =P v. ps to cough in lib.. -.- nt v. productive.. bt same lahx.. here dere aniwhere same.. =P

tata. go study bio le. =)

everyone jia you!! for prelims for As for Os.. for work even.. jia you!! we can do it!! do our best.. =) alwaes look on da brite side of life~

i m gettin tolerance over panadols...

it isnt gd.. 2 panadols can cure my headache.. no longer 1.. n my headache cumin back.. idiot.. panadols? refused to eat.. eat only i cannt tahan.. =P

lalala

i m okiex! tho havin slight sore throat n cough.. n a bit flu now.. bt @ lesat my head is clear. =) i can tink!!!! =) w/o ani pain.. hahax.. w/o ani unezness... xcept will ha qiu now n den... lolx.. yeah yeah yeah! tho i din go eat sheng mian... will eat ya fan or gui chap? hahax.. =)

go study le.. decided to study @ 9am startin fr 2dae!!! unless i m outside havin breakfast lahx.. =)

jia you! few more days to prelims!! 50+ days to As.. cant it b 10 days to As? hahax...

is 38.2deg high? mel din reply mi..

aniwae.. 2dae is a bad day.. nt v. bad.. bt i juz hate today.. totally opp. of mel mel.. dun care.. i win.. today gets over soon... tmr will b better.. =) sounds so fake. damn. i m startin to b a hypocrite wateva how to spell it...

2dae rained... n i walked in da rain.. wen i m sick.. how nice arhx? even w/o being sick.. juz walkin in da rain i can get headache le.. gettin it fr my mama.. stupid ting.. too long nv ling yu le i guess.. so now v. vulnerable... -.- so so.. feel v. terrible wen i reached hm... feels lk cryin coz my stupid parents dun even sae a word of concern.

so so.. went to study in sch w bei elmo chin n kel..

i dun feel lk commentin my 2dae. bye.

eatin sheng mian tmr.. hoe it will make my day.. if da stall is open.. *prays*

oh.. hope my sis gt dat job.. =)

my whole body is emittin heat.

my ankles r freezing cold. it sux. juz now it is emittin heat. now it is so cold. v. painful.

oh.. diz one muz sae.. Steve Irwin died 2dae...

World-famous Australian "crocodile hunter" and television environmentalist Steve Irwin has been killed by a stingray blow to the chest while filming a documentary on the Great Barrier Reef.
The larger-than-life Irwin, 44, known for his fearlessly enthusiastic handling of even the deadliest of wildlife, was killed when a stingray barb punctured his heart during underwater filming off northeastern Australia.

i dun understand someone who loved nature so much died diz way. tho i expected it. as in i noe diz day will cum.. bt i din noe.. it affects mi dat much...

"He came over the top of a stingray and the stingray's barb went up and went into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said the ebullient Irwin's longtime producer John Stainton, who was with him at the time on Monday.

he died fast. thx goodness..

"I have never met a more professional person in my whole life nor a more passionate person in my whole life on wildlife issues," Stainton said of the iconic Irwin, who was making a show about deadly sea dwellers.

he was a great man.

The couple had two children aged eight and three.

my deepest condolences.

"I really do feel Australia has lost a wonderful and colourful son," Howard said. "He took risks, he enjoyed life.

who many now take risks n enjoy life? i will enjoy my life.

kindly taken fr http://sg.news.yahoo.com/060904/1/437jv.html

sad sadder saddest.

my day is gettin worse.

it's nt as if i din slp enough..

tho i din eat vege n fruits... for a while..

tho i din exercise for v. long le..

i c no reason y i m sick!!!

havin headache.. slight fever.. slight cough.. -.- now dey r all cumin back again.. spent da entire mornin + aftnn slpin.. -.- now all cumin back.. dot dot dot... hope i recover by tmr..

damn.

i miss him...

willy wonka! miss him.. for no reason.. hahax... juz miss him.. miss his chocolates... lalala.
willy wonka willy wonka~~~

it's kinda funny dat i find my tv showin images straight aft i open da tv unbelievable... i 4gt wen's da lsat time da tv juz switched on n images can b seen.. cant rmb alr.... so felt so blessed. =) it's kidna funny wat seems so for granted stuffs bcum such a blessing to mi... i luv my tv!

lost to treasure. i guess dat's true. i treasure my tv. lolx.

goin to watch 2hrs of sam soon everyday. as relaxation.. =) bt nt 2dae.. din do anitin 2dae. so cannt enjoy. lolx. juz feel so lethargic 2dae.

o.. found da egg flip tingy.. so cute!
one of those dat i find it super cute! =)



da golden one! sb actually found it! omg.. lolx.. so cute!!!! bt i rahter haf da monmey dan buy it.. hahax... now a bit li zhi le.. dun wan it liaox.. -.- bt still v. cute.. lolx.. da ice bat too.. da angel too.. lalala. i wan my heels!

life is bcumin better. =)

i gt new tv.. 21inch.. sounds small to u? to mi it's enormous.. i feel so weird sittin on da floor.. it is so big!! omg... =D bt it cost 270.. hope it wont cause my family any hard time.. *prays*

aniwae.. da best part is my sis gt an interview!!! it doesnt matter if she gets da job.. [i hope she does..] bt it is a change... @ lesat dere is hope now.. =) she spplied it on 3Aug.. practically a mnth ago!! -.-

lalala. life is gettin better.

i luv my dad btw.. i wasnt feelin well ytd.. even my dad can c dat... so guess wat? he bot chicken wings for mi!! dat's wat he luv to do.. his way of comfortin mi.. =) bt i alwaes dun haf da appetide.. bt i will still eat.. i luv my dad! =)

oh.. i luv mel too! lolx.. coz she loves mi.. -.- btw ur shoulder too bony le.. gain lk 5more kg... bfore lending da shoulder... i still learnin how to express myself.. muz gif mi more time.. =)

lalala. i m goin to work super hard for my prelims!!! heex.. motivation is back.. too bad cannt buy sth for myself.. dere's so many tings i can buy! aiyahx..

i wan money
i wan money
how about you
hou about you
do you have some to give me
do you haven some to give me
money face
money face

lalala. =)